One of the saddest stories in the Bible comes to us in 2 Samuel chapter 13. The story is about Amnon and his half-sister Tamar. According to the Bible, Tamar was quite beautiful, and Amnon was in love with her. In fact, he was so much in love with her, that it made him ill. The story begins to take a sad turn in verse 3, where the Bible tells us, “…Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab…and Jonadab was a very shrewd man.” Now, Jonadab told Amnon how to trick Tamar into sleeping with him – and Amnon ended up raping Tamar. This wicked act, led to Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, having Amnon killed, and much more trouble as the story continues. The turning point in the story I believe is found in that 3rd verse though. “Amnon had a friend….”
It was Amnon’s friend who convinced him to rape his sister. It is VERY VERY important that we choose the right kind of people as our close friends in life. We too often think that it doesn’t really matter who we have as friends, as long as they like us and we like them. However, many a life has been destroyed and ruined because a person had the wrong friends and followed the advice of their friends rather than doing what was right.
It’s one thing to have acquaintances, and be kind to others – BUT, we should NEVER have a CLOSE and INTIMATE friendship with anyone who is not a friend of God. Having the right kind of friends will lead us closer to God and improve our relationship with Him, but having the wrong friends will only lead us further away from God and towards destruction.
1 Corinthians 15:33 warns us, “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” We should choose our close friends wisely, for though we may want and desire to act righteously and follow God, we find it more and more difficult to do that when our friends are not interested in that, or when they openly want to do what is displeasing to Him.
David wrote in Psalm 119:63, “I am a companion of all those who fear You, And of those who keep Your precepts.” Who we hang out with and spend our time with will HIGHLY influence and impact our lives. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 13:20, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Too often we base our friendships on how much fun and excitement we have with a certain person or group of people. Rather we should base our friendships on how much closer to God is my life becoming as a result of these friendships?
Like I said, yes we should be kind and friendly to everyone – but we need to be HIGHLY cautious about those whom we become close and have deep life-changing friendships with less we end up like Amnon who followed the “advice” of his friend and destroyed not only his life, but the lives of those around him.